Once More With Feeling....a Buffy Inspired Blog

As my facebook status says...

‎"I touch the fire and it freezes me. I look into it and it's black. Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peel. I want the fire back. So, I will walk through the fire, Cause where else can I turn? I will walk through the fire and let it burn."

Thank you to BtVS for that quote of how I am feeling at this moment.

Things with me have gotten so bad, I feel like I have no where to turn. I had a fight with one of my best friends and now he won't text me, talk to me, he didn't even come to our class today and I think he's avoiding me. He was the first person I went to with a problem and now I can't. My other best friends have their own lives, one is still always with the best friend who won't talk to me, another has a job, and a boyfriend, and doesn't even live in MD, and my gay husband lives all the way in North Carolina. He would be sheltering me in a second if he could, but he can't.

I used to think " What can't we face If we're together? What's in this place That we can't weather? We're together There's nothing we can't face... except for bunnies"

(Another Buffy moment...can we tell I'm obsessed.)

But now I feel like I can't face anything. I want to sleep all the time, I never want to get out of bed I don't want to face my friends, or my own family. What's worse is that I feel like I can't tell anyone anything.

I'm back to feeling like I'm a burden, like everyone is too busy for me to bother with my stupid and trivial problems.

"So thank God I'll Never tell, I swear that I'll never tell, my lips are sealed, I take the fifth, nothing to see move it along....I'll never tell."

And I feel like I can't tell anyone, or anything because no one needs to be handed my problems on a plate. Clearly two of my best friends are too busy to even talk to me so what can I do. So with one last Buffy quote I will leave my non readers with one last thought...

"What a lot of fun, you guys have been real swell. And there's not a one who can say this ended well. All those secrets you've been concealing, say you're happy now, Once More With Feeling. Now I gotta run, see you all in hell."